No Thank You
I do not want fries with that. No, I don't want to super-size it. Was there hemming and hawing in my voice when I rattled off exactly what I wanted? I'm in a drive-thru for Pete's Sake! Also, if I can't get half of the two-for-one special when I only want one, tell me quickly and sell me the one regular or you'll sell me none.

I would like my Sausage McGuffin with Egg and a Large Orange Juice in less than 10 minutes, preferrably in 3-5 minutes. I want the Sunshine Smoothie not the Regular Smoothie; that's why I asked for the Sunshine Smoothie. When I ask if the Fruit Smoothie actually has Fruit in it, that's what I want to know. Not that it comes in Orange-Mango and Cappuchino. Cappuchino isn't a fruit by the way. And would it kill anyone to have a sugar-free caffeine-free soda on tap? Would it?

While we're on the subject, I'm perfectly capable of adjusting the length of my own sideburns^*, and though the middle of the top of my head is not technically the crown, when I'm plucking at it and asking for it to be shorter, instead of reprimanding me, please just shorten it. And don't say things about my supposed cow-lick. I would not like to purchase any over-priced “salon” gel for it, either.

Another thing: When in the middle of a on-line RPG room named “Free Junk” explicitly created to give away unique and hard-to-find items, and asked to choose one item when other players are waiting in line for the remainder, do not say to me, “Give me all. I need.” You will get none.

Do not make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

In other news, a recent study reported chronic video game playing lowers brain function, causing shorter tempers and attention spans.

Idiotic scientists.

Where was I?
_
James Huckaby    July 9, 2002

* No, I would not like to debate the merits of shorter sideburns.

back to raveller.com

e-mail james